I’m not sure that people realize, if your profession is to walk confidently around in a room full of hundreds of people in essentially nothing more than a g-string and 7-inch heels and plop yourself happily on the laps of men you’ve never met before, there’s no question you have big dick energy. Strippers have the confidence that comes with carrying a third leg. But sitting yourself on the lap of these men and knowing that your presence is powerful enough for them to willingly drain their wallets for the night, that’s big check energy.
There was something about Big Dick Energy that just never sat right with me, even though I knew I possessed it. According to the infamous article on The Cut that started the assumption of Pete Davidson’s giant schlong, the definition of BDE is “a quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing you have an enormous penis and you know what to do with it.” Now, I’m all about quiet confidence and a healthy sense of self, but why must that have to come from your possession of a huge cock? I know we’ve chosen (wisely) to take this term in the more metaphorical direction, but I began to realize that on all my killer nights at work, it wasn’t because I had my best outfit on, I was having the best hair day, or my make-up was exceptionally on point. It was because I had big check energy. It was the quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing I can make the big bag and I know what to do with it.
I started listening to specific music before my shifts, and always making a conscious effort to really feel myself before walking into the club. I started repeating the mantra to myself, and later passing it on to my girls at work if they were having a bad night, or needing a confidence boost. Assuring them that they also possessed big check energy, even if they weren’t necessarily making “big checks” at the moment. After a couple bad nights at work, and not returning home in a cab defeated, deflated and feeling like a complete failure, I realized that big check energy was truly a mindset, not a number. It’s knowing your worth, your potential, and your hustle, and knowing that not every day and shift is going to reflect that. A bad shift, a bad day, a bad week or even month does not redefine the hustler that you are.
Big Check Energy is powering through, even on the slow nights. Big check energy is appreciating your small checks, and acknowledging that they add up to bigger checks, and not seeking immediate gratification. It means not only accepting, but enjoying the process. Big check energy is working smarter, not harder, and being able to set solid, healthy boundaries, even if it means denying a check to do so. It’s understanding that if a situation or person does not serve you, it’s okay to say no. It also means having the confidence to say yes to things that scare or challenge you.
Big check energy is feeling yourself, even when you think no one else is. It’s internal energy that is channeled externally, and can and will translate into those big checks. In times like these, it’s hard to believe in any sort of “big check” but that doesn’t mean the energy isn’t there. This is energy that needs to be harnessed, nurtured and cherished. Treat your energy how you want to be treated, and love it on it’s worst days as much as you do on its’ best days.