We know how hard it is to sit down with your loved ones, whether it be friends, roommates, family members, or parents, and come out to them as a sex worker. You’re scared of being judged for your choices, your truths, and even your own happiness. This is exactly why we decided to get real raw and open the wounds, by sitting down with some of our own loved ones and asking them the questions we never thought of asking them about our jobs. Questions you probably would rather not know the answers to. However, honesty is the best policy, and you must first open the wounds to be able to heal them. We decided to do this series, “In Conversation With a Strippers…” for all of you SWer’s who maybe aren’t ready yet for these conversations, but needed to hear them regardless. We’re kicking the series off today, on Father’s Day (Happy Dad’s Day to all the real OG dad’s and Sugar Dad’s out there, btw) with a real conversation with a strippers dad, and his very candid approach to unconditionally loving his daughter, despite her career choice.
These interviews are conducted anonymously to protect the privacy of those close to us.
How did you find out I was a dancer?
Your step-mom knew before anybody even said a word. She just fuckin’ knows, she’s a witch I’m tellin’ you! But your brother ratted you out when you were in Istanbul.
And when you first found out, what were your thoughts?
I wanted to kill you? [Laughs] I couldn’t believe it. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
I mean, I didn’t really wanna kill you. I just thought, “Well this sucks, I guess she’s not gonna be a physical therapist.” I wanted to get you back into college so you could make the money you want and not have to show everything. But it is what it is, you’re a big girl.
Did you feel you had failed me as a parent?
No. I think I raised you to be an intelligent person, you make up your own mind, you’re an adult, you can do what you wanna do.
I felt like some of it was my fault because I felt like it was all because of the money. Like it wasn’t about the actual job, it was about the money. But I think that you could also help women that are in the same position by being something other than a dancer. You could be a reporter, or a writer, or something that brings light to other people.
Right. But I like what I do!
Okay. But I think, I don’t know. I don’t pass judgement. I just think there are better things to do in life, and you know, our looks change as we get older, our mind. It’s just something you can’t rely on, for example, if you break a leg or something. Then you can’t dance!
When you realized I was happy, did it change your opinions at all?
Not really. Cause you could be happy being a physical therapist. What you went to school for. And when you come home with $1100, or $1200 every week, you’d be like “ooh, this isn’t bad.”
But I come home with more than that sometimes.
Most of the time.
Sometimes. I am glad you’re happy though. I don’t care what people think. There are other people out there that do the same thing. There’s reasons why there are jobs like that. I try to look at the future. That’s all.
What do you tell people about my job when they ask?
I tell ‘em you’re a bartender. What am I gonna say, my daughter’s an exotic dancer?
No of course not. That’s why I ask. But my question is, if I love my job, and getting to choose my own hours and schedule and make good money, why would you rather me be a bartender where I make way less money, but I basically do the same shit?
Cause bartenders usually keep their clothes on.
So the only issue is the clothes. If I worked a regular 9-5 that I hated, and could barely support myself living in the city, you would want that? They’re selling their bodies, just in a different way.
I understand, I do. The only thing that I dislike about the whole thing is the people that it attracts. It’s not the job itself, it’s the insane people it attracts. I get insane people just at my job, and the only thing that’s attracting them is that they’re being evicted or sued. These people at your job are going to look at girls, maybe trying to follow you home, they’ll stalk you.
So it’s more of a safety concern?
Yes. You can’t trust people. But there’s a lot of women, like Stormy Daniels, who actually make a kind of career out of it, so I get it. But there’s still wackadoos. She attracted Donald Trump!
So does it bother you more that I dance in New York? Because I might see people you know? Or would it worry you if I was farther away?
No, I’d rather you be close. I would be nervous if you were out in Vegas or somewhere. I just worry, that’s all. I worry about your anxiety and stuff. But I would rather you’re in New York.
Illustration by @wehadnoidea